


Kiss Of The Ocean

by chronicAngel



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Desperation, F/M, Healing, Kissing, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 18:23:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12348093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chronicAngel/pseuds/chronicAngel
Summary: Breathe. Don't panic. It might not work and that's okay. Control.





	Kiss Of The Ocean

It all happens in a blink. Her eyes are open, watching as the Ten-Tails strikes at her friends and fellow soldiers in the attempt to take their lives, then she blinks, and by the time they're open she's watching as the love of her life's chest gets pierced with large pieces of sharp wood. He's falling, and she's too stunned to move to catch him, grateful as Naruto does. A younger Neji would never have stood for this, to die in combat, to give his life for Hinata who in turn would have given hers for Naruto, but they have grown so much since that day at the Chūnin exams when they were still practically children-- when they _were_ children. And it hits her harder now than it ever has, watching the Hyūga prodigy with blood spilling down his chin, muttering to his cousin and the Number One Knucklehead, Hyperactive Ninja, that they _still are._

She's stunned, gaping until he puts Neji down, and suddenly she's rushing to his side and the fighting is back and she can hardly process what's going on as Lee and Gai are suddenly next to her. This is the first time she's ever hated how fast they are. When she grabs his wrist, it's cold, but there is still a feeble pulse underneath that only grows weaker as she sits there, frozen. Her mind rushes through every possibility and finally, her eyes settle on his face, as his eyes struggle to stay open and his mouth makes words that don't actually escape and the blood that spills down his chin slowly starts to drip onto his neck.

She reaches only one conclusion.

Her chakra control is the reason she can never be a medical-nin.

She's always been on point when it comes to fighting, all of her weapons hitting their mark perfectly, all of her blows landing exactly where she's aiming, and she's always earned praise for it from her comrades, but when it comes to chakra, she's always too harsh, trying to use more chakra than necessary which, as it was so bluntly put to her, will always do more harm than good. That's why she can't let her emotions cloud her focus. It's why as her sensei and her teammate cry theatrically next to her, she keeps it all down, spends her time comforting Lee rather than letting her own grief flood out, and why she stares pointedly at the ground over Neji's shoulder instead of at the blood coating his face, and why she closes her eyes when she leans in. His mouth is frozen in a small, bloody smile, and she takes a deep breath before she presses her lips to it, filled with disgust at herself even as she knows why she is doing this. _Take deep, steady breaths. Don't panic, it's bad for both you and the patient. Know going into the situation that it might not work, and that you can only try your best, but also know that it is not your fault if you lose them. Control your chakra. If you don't feed them enough chakra, there will be no effect, but if you feed them too much, it can make the injury even worse._ She leans closer, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as her lips press into his. _Breathe. Don't panic. It might not work and that's okay. Control._

It becomes her mantra. It keeps her calm as the familiar metallic taste of blood reaches her lips, it keeps her calm as Neji's heartbeat continues to slow, it keeps her calm as an unexpected and unfamiliar cooling sensation runs through her entire body. She realizes what her problem was through all of the years, what kept her from her dream, but as healing the person she cares for most in the world exhausts her she knows it is something she'll never fully be able to overcome. She can only hope that she can sustain this for now, that she can heal this one person. _Breathe. Don't panic. It might not work and that's okay. Control._ She's a natural wind release, which only makes all of this harder; though there's no explicit rules about what nature types can do what, people who have an affinity for water release always seem to be the best healers.

Unlike her usual attempts at healing, it feels as though her chakra is reaching out, like she is offering him help up or pulling him to someone who can assist him as opposed to... well, she can't exactly describe what it normally feels like, other than _different._ She pulls back and looks at his face, eyes scanning over every detail, and then she looks at his chest. She feels a flicker of hope at the slightest rise.

 _Breathe. Don't panic. It might not work and that's okay. Control._ She doesn't lean in again, instead staring intensely at his chest and focusing on the holes there, the gaping wounds where the wood was previously, and she rests her hands over one. It's closer to his shoulder, and closer to any vital spots, so she gets to work on attempting to mend it together, channeling chakra to her hands and then to his body.

Her eyes squeeze shut as she tries her best not to focus on the slick feeling of his blood, which is still pouring from the injury (she tries her best to look at this positively, to let herself remember that this means that there is still blood to lose, that his heart is still pumping), on her fingers. His chest still rises and falls, but it's weak, so weak, and he's breathing fast enough that it reminds her of a dying rabbit, like something they would have caught on a long mission for food. There's a green glow and it feels so totally different from the way it was described to her by Sakura.

 _"What's it like?" She had asked once, out to lunch with all of the other kunoichi in the Konoha 12 while Sakura chattered on about her training with Lady Tsunade, and she had tried her best not to sound bitter. She really was happy for Sakura, but there was still that looming jealousy in her gut that reminded her that could have been_ her, _if she were better. If she could just control her chakra better, like the pink-haired girl sitting across from her with green eyes filled with hope and a bright smile that lit up her whole face, and Tenten suspected could light up the whole village._

_Sakura seemed taken aback by that, her eyes snapping from Hinata, the other girl in the group who wasn't training her medical ninjutsu (though Tenten thought that she could if she wanted to, with what she'd seen of the Hyūga clan), to Tenten. Her face was still as bright and warm as ever, like fire, and Tenten felt pity flare up as she realized that if it weren't for the fact that Sasuke Uchiha was an international criminal (and she personally thought he deserved to die), Sakura would make a perfect Uchiha woman. She didn't remember much of the Uchiha clan; after all, she didn't come from the sort of important clan that would interact with them often like the Hyūga or the Yamanaka, and she didn't even live in the Land of Fire until she was five years old. But she had a very strong memory of a time in the village. She was seven, and she had gone grocery shopping with her mother, a task she had always hated, but knew that she was needed for.  
_

_There was a language gap. While the language in Konohagakure, like the rest of the country, was Japanese, they were natively Chinese. Tenten learned the language quickly, due to her young age and affinity for learning, but it was much harder to adapt to a new language when you weren't growing up surrounded by it. They were poor immigrants, and shopkeepers often tried to take advantage of her mother's lack of understanding when shopping to raise the prices on things._

_"Excuse me, sir, but that bag of apples is only 150 ryō, not 200." It was such a small thing, but Tenten remembered the forcefulness behind the warm tone of Mikoto Uchiha._

_It was easy to think Sakura would be a good Uchiha after that._

_Snapping back into reality once Sakura started speaking again, she realized that she was answering her question. Well, sort of. "Healing? It feels... Well, it feels like washing your hands. Like dipping your hands into a sink of cool water and cleansing everything, only it's not just yourself; it's like your patient's injuries are the germs that you're chasing away... It's really... wonderful." She sounded almost breathless and her face was pink, but she seemed so happy. Tenten's original question was a bitter one of jealousy, asking what training with Lady Tsunade was like, but she was happy in that moment that she misinterpreted her question. It made it easier to get over her jealousy. There was no point in pining for something she would never be able to have anyway._

She does not feel like she is washing her hands. It feels more like sinking into a hot spring at the end of the last day on a long mission, or like holding her hands over the hot relief of a crackling fire on a mission in the Land of Snow. It's just as wonderful as it was described, but it's wonderful in such a different way that she'd be caught off guard if she wasn't so focused on the task at hand. It's a long, draining few minutes and she feels like her chakra has been completely sucked out of her before she notices a real difference, but she thinks it's all worth it as she blacks out to the sight of Neji blinking and his wounds, though not completely closed, at least bleeding slower. She collapses into the cold patch of snow next to him as she thinks he begins to say something.

* * *

When she opens her eyes, the world comes to her slowly, and one piece at a time, like she has to strain to put a puzzle together. The first thing that she realizes is that empty ache that starts deep inside of her, a feeling she has grown to realize is a depletion of chakra and her body struggling to fill the reserves (not that her chakra reserves are anything spectacular). The next is the lack of fighting outside, as though the war has gone to sleep (the more hopeful part of her recognizes that maybe all of this is finally _over,_ but she tries not to let herself want that too much). It is completely quiet. She slowly soaks everything in, the lack of sound, the dim light, the fact that she's in a medical tent, and finally the fact that someone stands in front of her. She blinks a few times, still too hazy to recognize them immediately. Long hair. Pale skin. Straight posture. Taller than her (well, when she's standing), but not necessarily tall. _Eyes like the moon._ She shoots up when she finally places Neji Hyūga, and she wraps her arms tightly around his shoulders, laughing when he goes rigid because it's so _him,_ it's so like Neji that she's sure this can't be a genjutsu. Her stomach and ribs protest the sudden movement, but she doesn't pull back to lay down again until he scolds her and pushes her back against the cot.

"You're alive," she whispers hopefully, eyes brimming with tears, though she's not sure whether it's because of the amount of pain that she's in or if it's because Neji is still alive and standing in front of her. It's so hard to believe this is real.

"You saved me." He states plainly, and his tone is cold enough that she knows it's really him, though there's a slight twinge of sympathy there as though there's something else he's struggling to say, or struggling not to.

She scoffs out a laugh as everything quickly floods back to her, but she still has to wipe at her eyes and sniff. "Sakura saved you." She doesn't know, of course. She blacked out immediately after putting everything she had into him, into making sure he was okay. But Tenten is a mediocre healer at best, and she caught a glimpse of his injuries before she lost herself. They were still bleeding. They weren't gone. Though his chest is wrapped in bandages now, they're not soaked in blood. Someone did more for him after her.

He shakes his head, and reaches for one of her hands. He isn't one for blatant affection, but she's used to little touches, holding hands in privacy or kisses on the forehead in the woods after training once Lee has left on another crazy feat ("I will do 1000 laps around the forest if I cannot dodge ten of Tenten's kunai!") if he was feeling particularly brave, so she gives him her hand. "Sakura handled the bleeding and prevented infection. You saved me."

A long silence stretches between them. She is used to silence with Neji, especially when Lee is not around, so she doesn't bother an attempt to break it, both because she is comfortable with the quiet and the time it gives her to think, and because she knows Neji will not respond. He is not one to expend unnecessary energy, especially not on something as basic and stupid as small talk. He will speak when it is necessary, and she's happy to wait until then. In the meantime, she reflects. She saved Neji without thinking about it, without even taking time to process what happened; a normal person would applaud themselves, would hold themselves in high regards for saving the life of the person they love, but all that she can think is that the one time, _the one time_ that she manages to do _the one thing_ that she's always wanted to do, it's when she's not thinking. But as she looks at him, looks at his face and the way his chest rises and falls as a testament to the fact that he is alive, that just this once, she _saved_ him, she thinks that maybe she can let herself try to be happy about that.

"Tenten," his words are abrupt, and her eyes snap to his. She's always been fascinated by his eyes, like two full moons on a constant cycle, with all of the gravity of the hunk of rock and dust itself, with all of the cold and calm of vast and empty space. Right now, though, they contain all of the conflict and uncertainty of a star on the verge of a supernova, and she finds it oddly comforting. "You didn't have to do that... To save me."

"What?" She spits, her tone laced with disbelief. His face looks just as conflicted as she feels, so rather than add onto the statement, she just watches him, waiting for him to say or do something to elaborate on what he could possibly mean.

He doesn't look her in the face, staring pointedly off to the side at one of the walls of the medical tent. "I know that you heard me. It was foolish of you to use so much of your chakra in the attempt to heal me."

She laughs coldly, bitterly. " _Attempt?_ I did heal you! I saved your life!" He doesn't respond verbally, but the way he does respond feels so much worse. His face just drops further into a disappointed scowl, and he still refuses to look at her, which only makes her feel like a worm, struggling for its life on the sidewalk after a heavy downpour. She grips his chin between her fingers and turns his head to look at her. "Was I just supposed to let you die?"

"If it meant that your life would have been secured, yes." His tone is surprisingly emotional even through the flatness and calculated calm, and it breaks her heart a bit, watching a boy she has always loved forcing himself to be a man just for her sake. She leans in without thinking about it, and she's so tired of not thinking about it when she makes such huge decisions in her life, especially involving Neji Hyūga, and he doesn't struggle when her lips press into his. She wonders if he's not pulling back because of genuine affection, or because the last time she pressed her lips to his she breathed life into him.

She pulls away after a second, chocolate doe eyes wide.

"I'm right here, Neji... And so are you."

He nods, almost imperceptibly, and she's not sure who presses closer first, but she feels a spark through her spine when her lips meet his this time, and her entire body feels electrified when she realizes that he's kissing her back. The sheets pool around her legs as she leans closer, and it feels like after everything that has been going wrong in the past few months, -- with the constant missions and the growing war and Obito Uchiha and what just happened with Neji-- something good is finally happening. Her hand rests on his cheek and she pulls him closer and... the illusion is broken when Sakura walks into the room. "Oh! Oh my..." She clears her throat. "Tenten. You're awake."

**Author's Note:**

> I really tried to keep the Chinese Tenten headcanon out of there but I couldn't do it.


End file.
